Friday, March 2, 2012

Mama Bear

Nineteen years ago I didn't have a clue as to how drastically my life would change when I gave birth to my first born child. And I am not talking about diapers, night feedings, and lack of sleep. I am recalling the way the world seemed to turn completely upside down when that baby girl was placed in my arms. My life was no longer about me. Suddenly it was only about caring for, protecting, and nurturing this little soul.

My change of worldview wasn't a decision on my part as much as it was just a pure emotional/hormonal response. I didn't think to myself, "I'll try really hard to be a good mom." Rather, it was, "This is my baby and I will kill anyone who tries to harm her." Not the most spiritual thought I'd ever had.

Welcome to the world of Mama Bear.

I can remember when Taylor was only 2 years old and was bitten by another child during Sunday School. I thought about biting the child, but realized the mom and dad were the ones who needed the lesson. So I stopped the dad in the hallway, grabbed him  and bit down on his forearm as hard as I could. Unfortunately, I didn't get to bite the mom too; she was taking her husband to the hospital. No, no, no, I am only joking! I never bit anyone! I only relate this story to give you some insight into how a mama bear can think at times.


Over the years there have been moments when I have failed to be the Mama Bear I should have been, and there have been more moments when I have erred on the side of biting a chunk out of those who might mess with my child. It's been a learning curve.

The older Taylor gets the more I have to learn to release her to the Father who loves her even more than I do. She belongs completely to Him whether I "release" her or not, so I am just getting on board with the truth.

Bear cub Taylor is in flight at this moment on her way to do mission work in India. There she will spend a week working among the "untouchables," the lowest caste in Indian society. If you don't know your geography, let me tell you where India is: it is on the other dang side of the world! There can be no Mama Bear rescue unit. She will be beyond my reach.

Even though I am not afraid to let her go to India, my heart felt a strong stab as I hugged her goodbye today. I don't know exactly what it was, . . but my heart hurt. Another break; another letting go; another death of sorts.

Life, however, springs from death. Seeds have to die before they can bear fruit. And Mama Bears have to let go. Bear cubs grow up.

I know she is safe with the Father. She is not doing something foolish; she is following God's call on her life.

"'Come, follow me,' Jesus said. 'At once 
they left their nets and followed Him.'" 
Matthew 4:19-20.

My inner Mama Bear may be dying, but my bear cub is growing strong and has the Lion of Judah on her side. I will rest in that.

2 comments:

  1. Your heart for your daughter is a great encouragement to me! Thank you for your obedience to His lead in letting her out of your grasp and into His. I will be praying for Taylor this week as well as you!

    Love,
    mandy

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  2. Thanks I truly appreciate those prayers!

    ReplyDelete