Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Can We Fix It? Yes, We Can!

God continues to show me that I am a fixer. If anything or anyone doesn't work right, I want to find the solution and map out the plan to "functioning properly". If you have a problem and need an answer, I am the girl! If I don't know the answer, I will think and ponder and research until I find it.

 A few years ago this guy named "Bob the Builder" showed up and stole my life's mantra: "Can we fix it? YES, we can!" Poser, that's what I say. After all, he only works with wood and hammers.

I, on the other hand, have a much more difficult task. I work on people. Yes, I know it is a huge task, but someone has to do it, right? And God has called me to love and serve others, so I am glad to be of service, even if the path is sometimes rough. Are you beginning to get a taste of my "messiah complex"? Are you gagging yet?

So, as I was saying, God continues to show me that I am a fixer. That is, God continues to reveal to me my own brokenness. My own false belief that I am the answer to someone's or anyone's problem. It takes quite a bit of pride to put myself in this position of superiority and God, well, He is always opposing the proud and giving grace to the humble!

 Because I want to be on God's side and not against Him, He is teaching me over and over again that I am broken too and that I cannot fix even my own condition. It actually took some wood and hammers and nails, but really it took Jesus, the perfect sacrifice to pay for all of my sins, mistakes, and brokenness. Maybe it's time I rest in Him and let Him do His complete work in me and in others. Because He is no poser.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Making God Laugh

"Mr. Wilson says that if you want to give God a good laugh, tell Him your future plans." Dennis the Menace.

I spend most of my days keeping God rolling on the floor laughing. I like to plan and to know and to work out what will happen in the future. A part of that is a God-thing: He has put eternity in my heart and I am made to dream and plan and hope. However, the other part can be a flesh-thing: when I am trying to control elements that God did not put me over, when I am demanding my life/dreams play out in a certain manner, when I cannot even live in this moment that God has given me and be thankful for it because I am fearful of the future, then I am out of touch with what God does have for me.

Maybe today I will make God laugh with joy by trusting Him and His plan for me instead of keeping Him in stitches over the foolishness of my efforts to attain that which is beyond my reach.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

More Than La La

Hebrews 4:15-16 "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are--yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."

My sweet little boy Levi just turned two years old. His latest interest/obsession is Elmo, whom Levi lovingly refers to as "La La." If you know Elmo then you understand the name given him by this small follower.

In the morning, it's "La La." In the evening, it's "La La." Anytime is a good time for "La La." Whenever Levi is especially tired and cranky he cries, "La La, La La, La La..." until I turn on the tv and find Elmo. Then his cries are quieted and all is peace and bliss. While I realize this is a passing fancy and that Levi will not always be longing for La La to soothe him, I also know his very human heart will always long for a comforter.

Since I have a human heart also, I have to ask myself, "Who or what am I turning to for comfort?" When the day has been long and I am wearied, do I cry out, "Jesus, Jesus"? Or do I run to something else? Do I turn on the tv and just veg in hopes of relaxing or do I release my burdens to my high priest who is able to sympathize with my weaknesses?

What my soul really longs for is someone who understands and loves me even though I am weak and broken. I need the Comforter, One who speaks to my soul, One who ministers grace, and One who is bigger than me or my circumstances. I need a throne of grace.

Elmo doesn't love and understand Levi. Elmo can't minister grace or anything else. He doesn't even have a throne! Elmo is only a puppet with a lot of little fans, but maybe he is not that different from things that I go to for comfort. The things I may turn to (shopping, decorating, internet surfing) may offer a temporary escape, but they cannot offer mercy and grace in my time of need. They are just things and distractions from what I truly desire and what I really need.

So, how do I go about turning my own heart to what I know I need? Thomas a' Kempis said this, "If you fix the eyes of your soul on Him, in holy contemplation of His deep mysteries and wonders, the fire that is in Him will begin to purge your soul of its taste for the dead pulp of worldly things. It will create in you a taste for heavenly things."

May it be so in my life, Lord Jesus.